Duties versus needs? Welcome to mama guilt!

Duties versus needs? Welcome to mama guilt!

Today I'm feeling guilty. That special kind of guilty that only mamas feel. The kind that implies that you are not doing what you should be doing, that you are putting yourself first before the kids, that the kids are your duty and therefore somehow you have failed and above all, that you are selfish. 

A solopreneur's secret superpower - sleep

A solopreneur's secret superpower - sleep

We all know how important sleep is for our mental, emotional and physical well-being because we’ve all experienced what it’s like to feel like we’ve not had enough: grumpy, unmotivated and not fully able to function.

If we want to be firing on all cylinders, we need to count sleep as one of our major fuels.

And yet sometimes it can be so elusive. Why? Because it is SO easily influenced by how we feel: anxiety, stress, worry, fear, excitement or nerves can all prevent our bodies from reaching the necessary state of physical calm in order to fall asleep.

But if you are a solopreneur, aka the marketing, strategy, admin, sales and accounts department rolled into one (not to forget office manager as well as the heart and soul of your brand), these feelings – and more – are often part of the course.

Because you are relying entirely on yourself to grow your business.

Not only can this feel lonely, it can also be stressful, especially when you know that as a result of tiredness, your precious productivity will stall.

So to make sleep into the superpower that it has the potential to be, we have to know how to pause, unwind our bodies and switch off our minds. Not easy when you have a million and one things swirling around your solopreneurial brain. Which is why I’ve listed 8 awesome ways to help you get there!

Moody people-pleaser or affectionate bad loser?

Moody people-pleaser or affectionate bad loser?

If you have more than one child, you are probably already aware of the birth order theory which expounds that one's place in the family is just as important as one's genetic blueprint. Experts seem to have a differing opinions on which birth place means what (if anything) but from my informal, playground straw polls, it seems that the real experts - us mamas - have got it nailed. Because we are the ones for whom the very worst behaviour is saved, remember?

The bottom line is that all children want attention from their parents. The more kids there are, the harder this is to grab and so the more inventive a child needs to be to succeed. 

This is how it plays out (at least in my family):

Why mamas who 'bounce back' are doing more harm than good

Why mamas who 'bounce back' are doing more harm than good

We ALL remember what it is like to give birth. How can we forget? It is gruesome. Or at least, it is most probably the most demanding, physical act that you will ever accomplish. It is not, in any way, pretty, groomed or neat and tidy: your body is a mess; the baby comes out in a mess; you make a mess. The whole thing is MESSY.

Are you letting shame block your power?

Are you letting shame block your power?

And because shame is one of the most pervasive and horrible emotions to truly feel, most of us will do anything not to feel it: pretending we are someone else (putting on a mask), numbing out through various forms of addiction (alcohol, TV, exercise, sex or drugs) or going to the other extreme and thinking we are much better than everyone else (becoming judgmental, defensive and mean). But there is no other way out.

Shame needs to be felt - in all of its toe-curling glory – in order to move through and out of us.